{"id":9520,"date":"2018-10-28T12:24:33","date_gmt":"2018-10-28T12:24:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/comchurch.org.uk\/?p=9520"},"modified":"2018-10-28T12:24:33","modified_gmt":"2018-10-28T12:24:33","slug":"learning-to-love-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elegant-germain.77-68-99-159.plesk.page\/index.php\/2018\/10\/28\/learning-to-love-myself\/","title":{"rendered":"Learning to love (myself)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Having sex when you feel fat and ugly can be comedic; from fumbling around in the darkness because you daren\u2019t put the light on in case he sees your flab, to the issues in trying to take off the suck-it-all-in undies which you wore to cover up that extra cake you\u2019d just comfort eaten. If you\u2019ve been mocked, bullied or rejected in the past, even despite being in a loving relationship, you will struggle to love another when you don\u2019t love yourself. People with a great body image and high self esteem don\u2019t understand the daily battles of the mind you face in trying to be the wife ready to satisfy his needs while dreading the rejection if you try.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yet, all research points to the importance of intimacy in a happy marriage. Sexual intimacy leads to more happiness, a healthier immune system, and it even lowers your heart attack risk! Sex in a marriage also brings you closer together as you become one, and this leads to you wanting more. Plus, it counts as exercise! \u201cI\u2019ve got a headache\u201d isn\u2019t going to wash anymore as sex can lessen pain! Oh, and stop punishing him because he left the toilet lid up again! Couples who don\u2019t have much sex (10 times a year is counted as a sexless marriage, by the way) tend to have issues of trust, hurts and bitterness.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(Don\u2019t assume that sex is the same as intimacy, however. There are many Christians who regard the act of intercourse as the most important thing. But sex without love and affection is just routine and mechanical. It\u2019s vital that the marriage is based on care, affection, loving, cherishing and touch: these things make sexual intimacy easier.)<\/p>\n

So, what can we do about the way we feel about ourselves when it comes to relationships?<\/p>\n

Firstly, it\u2019s time to care more about yourself. Loving your neighbour as much as you love yourself isn\u2019t going to pan out for your neighbour if you hate yourself! Sometimes as Christians, we can assume that self-care means we are being selfish. Treat yourself the way you would a child or your best friend! Forgive those who\u2019ve hurt you in the past and forgive yourself.<\/p>\n

Secondly, don\u2019t accept the lies that you are not good enough or that bad treatment is somehow deserved. Relationships are a two-way street and you should be receiving the same love, respect and acceptance that you give out. God says you are His daughter \u2013 He wants you to believe that you deserve to be cherished.<\/p>\n

Lastly, Dave Carr reminded us in September that we are new creations, no longer under condemnation. When you don\u2019t love yourself, people won\u2019t be attracted to the Jesus in you. God is love \u2013 stop hating yourself and accept your body and looks as a gift. Don\u2019t let the devil have a field day because you don\u2019t love yourself.<\/p>\n

Sisters in Christ, if you have a man who loves you, let him! Don\u2019t laugh it off, put off intimacy or make up (more) excuses about why you can\u2019t have sex on this occasion. It\u2019s time to learn to love yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Having sex when you feel fat and ugly can be comedic; from fumbling around in the darkness because you daren\u2019t put the light on in case he sees your flab, to the issues in trying to take off the suck-it-all-in undies which you wore to cover up that extra cake you\u2019d just comfort eaten. If […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9563,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9520","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pure-sex"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/elegant-germain.77-68-99-159.plesk.page\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9520","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/elegant-germain.77-68-99-159.plesk.page\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/elegant-germain.77-68-99-159.plesk.page\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elegant-germain.77-68-99-159.plesk.page\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elegant-germain.77-68-99-159.plesk.page\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9520"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/elegant-germain.77-68-99-159.plesk.page\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9520\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elegant-germain.77-68-99-159.plesk.page\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9563"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/elegant-germain.77-68-99-159.plesk.page\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9520"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elegant-germain.77-68-99-159.plesk.page\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9520"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elegant-germain.77-68-99-159.plesk.page\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9520"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}